Random Epiphanies

I am more insignificant than the tiniest speck of dust and at the same time as significant as the entire universe. And in between they rise & fall, the waves of my being in the ocean of eternity.

Chasing

Is the world really what we think it to be. We are mostly surrounded with so much unoriginality, conditioning and propaganda that we eventually start believing it to be the Truth. Sometimes I wonder if the whole world has been programmed to be this way an ‘Eyewash’ .

At a micro level we may be controlling our lives and that too just to keep us busy in thinking that we have a free will but on a macro level everything seems to be designed and planned.

I have a big hunch that on a macro level we are definitely being manipulated and played with. I can not pin point at it but maybe  its the Politicians or The New World Order that controls the Politicians or maybe the Aliens who control the New World Order and are watching and experimenting with us.

Just observe how we are always chasing the next thing. It starts early from school, than college, than job, than marriage, than kids. Maybe it’s about a new car, a trip to Europe, a house, a promotion, another trip to somewhere in the world, again a new car model, a bigger house and it goes on. By the time we really start to get this meaninglessness and question life we have already lived out our years.  

Knock knock! You have a question?

Quote Unquote

Doing

An Ode to My Grandfather

From bedside stories to joyful rides

Those happy picnics full of smiles

Walks through the mountains & finding new roads 

For all of us with Grandpa there are memories g’lore

He has been a friend, an ideal in life

Of things I have learnt & forever strive

A few I share and mark upright

A life so bright it shines like a guiding star

Of courage and giving of prudence in looking far

So many people so many things they want us to be

But its in being true to yourself that shall set you free

Its not in having but in giving where greatness lies

Simple living is where God resides

He has been a friend, an ideal in life

Of things I have learnt & forever strive

A few I share and mark upright

©KSHITIJ GHAI

The Ant & The Wall

Circle - A Poem

Notes to Myself

We are not mortals but gods descended to play our own games till we become gods again.

Even if Perfection can't be attained still it's the only thing worth striving for.

The syllable Gu means Darkness & syllable Ru means dispeller. May we rise to that GURU within & without.

Till the time you are looking for happiness outside your happiness will remain a bubble.

The challenge is to keep the mind attentive & anchored in the self so not to let it rupture in the senses.

The purpose of life is but life itself. The quest is to experience it unadulterated without compulsions & conditioning.

Knowing is the art of Un-Knowing.

Oneness is an experiential concept not intellectual.

All great beings time n again hv come to teach us but one lesson to be independent to look within ironically we have been fed the opposite.

This can be right so can be anything else.

All of life is but a creation of the next. Breath by breath & deed by deed.

What if all this chaos was designed and planned.

One who knows it all rejects everything including the truth.

To be or not to be that is the the question.To become is the answer.

Rationalising Money!

If we manage to spare sometime in  contemplative retrospection we will usually find ourselves living out these compulsive lives. It seems as if everyone is in a hurry and scared of being left behind. Albeit there doesn't seem to be any idea about where we are heading. 

We have started judging ourselves in mechanical terms like productivity & efficiency. It seems criminal to just be. In fact "being" has kind of become an art which these days can be learnt in these new age yoga spas that teach various breathing techniques. 

In this quest of being ahead we are diluting ourselves to become machines. Because what's really the reason behind this insatiable ambition. Are we really doing all this effort for a better life. If yes than where is it. All we seem to be pre-occupied with is materialistic hoarding and a physiology of constantly wanting more. 

We are literally spending our lives to earn money rather than spending it to give a fulfilling life. And money isn't the problem here. Making money to enhance life for greater possibilities is its real serving but making it the only motive of life seems derogatory. 

Reply to a Friend !

My friend, my friend

nay not go  this way

for i have been where u r today

this oblivion thts but thy mind

the world has never been a perfect place

nor will it ever be

perfectness is a search within

tht will solve all mysteries

for where we are placed and pity below

its nothing but relativity's show

for a man down trodden may be at peace

for his wants and desires are at ease

listen to me i tell u my heart

the world's a fake and doesn't even know

but still there is hope n chances a lot

where I's will perish and truth shall show

Ding Dong Ding

She comes to the terrace and sways the swing
Watching her there I hear some rings
Telling my heart a song to sing
"Ding dong ding da ding dong ding"

Who is she I don't know
Just a stranger next door
Looking for a flower a buzzing bee
All so lonely just like me

The funny thing is I haven't seen her
Seems as if I have had some beer
So terrace girl what do you think
About my song 'ding dong ding'

"Ding dong ding da ding dong ding"

Warrior of Light

Why do you fear and of what.
Filth of insecurities and attachments wrath.
Get rid of the baggage and continue the path.
You are a warrior of 'Light", not a shadow of the pasts.
Why do you stop you don't belong of this.
Many a lives lived and many a lives lost.
Awake awake and get rid of this cast.
Dream on no more as the dawn breaks at last.

Trilogy

Who is this that thinks
Of thoughts expressed in time
The realities created in a void & manifested in space
The trilogy begets thus in the chain of cause and effect

KHOJ

Yeh Kya Khojta Hai Tu Bahar
Sadiyaan Beet Gayi, Phir Bhi Tu Ne Na Jaana.

Beete Pallon Ko Thaame
Aaj Phisal Rahaa Hai
Kal Ki Umeedon Main
Khud Ko Kho Raha Hai

Pukaar Dil Se Yeh Nikali Hai
Ki Fanaa Ho Jaye Hum
Par Zindagi Ka Yeh Jhamela
Sirf Pee Ke Hi Paar Hua Hai

Kyon Chahaton Ki Ladi Se Ghira,
Doston Main Uljhah, Rishton Main Bandha
Ehsaason Ke Bulbulon Main
Mila Hai Khushi Ka Manzar Kisse Bhala

Aye Baware Man Mere,
Zara Ruk, Zara Sun Meri Sadaa
Raqeeb Tu Apna Hi Ban
Woh Saqoon Jisse Tu Dhoondta Hai Jagah Jagah
Kahin Aur Nahin, Tere Andar Hi Bassa

Dhoondle Tu Usko, Paa Le Tu Usko
Aur Baant De Tu Usko
Yeh Woh Innayat Hai Jo
Sambhale Se Dhale, Banto To Badhe
Kho Kar Tu Ismain,
Mukamal Jahan Pale Tu Zara

Yeh Kya Khojta Hai Tu Bahar
Sadiyaan Beet Gayi, Phir Bhi Tu Ne Na Jaana

TABAH (Hindi/Urdu)

Ek Aag Si Hai Seene Main
Zindagi Jis Main Jal Rahi Hai
Khud Ko Hi Tabah Kar Chaloon Main
Ek Ajab Si Khalish Hui Hai

Kaun Hoon Main Aur Kya Mera Wajood
Mitne Se Kya Kabhi Zindagi Ruki Hai
Khud Ko Tabah Kar Chaloon Main
Aaj Phir Yeh Khwahish Hui Hai

Jazbaat Yeh Jo Dafan Hue Hain
Tune Kaisi Yeh Zid Rakhi Hai
Khud Ko Tabah Kar Chaloon Main
Dil Pe Dastak Yeh Hasrat Hui Hai

Haqeeqat Aur Khwab Main Ulajhti Zindagi
Do Saahilon Pe Chal Rahi Hai
Khud Ko Tabah Kar Chaloon Main
Phir Umeedon Main Chingari Hui Hai

Ek Aag Si Hai Seene Main
Zindagi Jis Main Jal Rahi Hai
Khud Ko Hi Tabah Kar Chaloon Main
Ek Ajab Si Khalish Hui Hai

Bruised Child

Unaware I am as the mind creeps in,
The Shouts of the heart are dumbed
Cornered aloof in that suffocating darkness,
It breathes the numbness of thy longing again

'Beloved' 'Beloved' the heart resonates,
Clinging to the flickering light of hope
Please come to me - late nay not be,
Awaits for you is your bruised child

Quote Unquote

"Your smartness will take you to your grave, my goodness will take me to my heaven. "

"To be or not to be is the question. To become is the answer."

"A man who knows it all rejects everything including the Truth."

" and thus was creation and creator trapped within "

"is there butter in the milk..nay not say no..churn and see as out of nothing it shows...is there god in man nay not say no...churn thy mind and let thy self be explored"

"the mind the weaver, the life that is weaved, the thoughts the woven and destiny perceived"

NAYA DOR (In Hindi)

CHAR PAHIYE KI GADHI MAIN CHALI HAI HAISIYAT
AHNKAR BANA HAI PEHCHAAN HUMARI
ZAMEEN KE CHAN TUKDE BANE HAIN PARMAAN PATR
MAIN HI MAIN HO HAI KHWAHISH HUMARI

RISHTON NE NAYA ROOP LIYA HAI
BOOJHO TO LAGE DEKH RAHA HOON KHATE
MAIN TUJHSE AAGE TU MUJHSE PECCHE KI AJAB DODH LAGI HAI
JAANA KAHAN HAI YE KOI NA JAANE

NASAMJH HI MAIN ACHA THA
SAPNON KI DUNIYA BUNTA THA
HUMDARDI PYAAR BHAICHAARA DULAAR
IN MAIN KHELA KARTA THA

AB INSANON KE KARKHANNON MAIN
JO BINA DHADKAN HI CHAL RAHE HAIN
PARINDON KE PANKH BANDH GAYE HAIN
IS KHUDI MAIN KHUDA KO BHOOL GAYE HAIN

'me' to 'i'

umpteenth layers over the onion
umpteenth waves of the sea
the nothingness that's covered in the layers
the ocean that forms the sea

the nothing that brings out the all
and all that is lost in the nothing
the ocean may call itself the wave
but the wave, how can the ocean it be

to be it has to loose itself
and become one with eternity
the journey of 'I am God'
begins with 'God is me'

RollerCoaster

Up and down the roller coaster
The world sways and sways
How many cycles of kth 'n' kin
Oblivion of the count of days

Awake! Awake! the cosmos resonates
The day is precious than the dream.
Why long for candies my friend
While sweetness of the worlds beckons thee.

I art thou and thou art me
And together we are the world.
But standing aloof beyond and above
This 'I' defies to be.

Love @ 1st Click!

We clicked on a click.
And acquainted love as time ticked.
Only words exchanged but hearts have met.
Prior to our meeting it was all set.

Were made to wait to meet again.
We swayed in search while time played its game.
Before we knew "WE" belonged to "US"
Just that Destiny unfolded Thus.

Together we are again for evermore.
Playing in HIS play new roles.
For life has what but a purpose to serve.
To make us experience an emotion called LOVE.

My computer - my mind!

In today’s modern world one spends more time with the computer than the accumulated time spent with the family, friends and  in the loo (pun intended), and kindly excuse the genuinity (if that is a word) of the above statistic for i didn’t care to read through any of those published research papers written by some xyz professor/doctor (no offense please) from those ivy league institutes. Why? Because I just wanted to get the meaning through and more importantly in the end all of us know what the truth is but are too scared to accept it unless its BRANDED.

Well coming back to the subject, I will like to share something interesting that sneaked into my understanding on one frustrating afternoon when the hard disk of my computer crashed. Taking my laptop to the service center I was wondering at how the computer memory worked. There was a hard disk which stored all the data of the computer and than there was the Random Access Memory that used only the bit of the computer data that was required to complete the task in hand. 

Well you may ask what am I talking about, even a 5th grader would know that. But just hang on there, interesting observations ahead. 

I am sure we have all heard about the conscious and sub-conscious mind. But what is it exactly. If you are lucky with accidental observance (like i was) you will discover that the conscious mind is actually our RAM and the sub-conscious our hard disk. Like at this moment as I am writing and later when you will be reading we are and will be using our conscious mind, but at the same time we have our sub-conscious minds which is a huge hard disk of memories old and new. Having said that, there is another set of equivalents we haven’t yet touched. 

The Internet that connects us to the vast pool of data through a network of computers, servers all joined together linking us to infinite data of the world wide web and the Super-Conscious Mind connecting us to the whole universe, opening us to the world of information, knowledge and possibilities. 

Albeit it can be argued that where connecting to the internet is as easy as a push of a button, MEDITATION - the way to connect to the super-conscious mind, is one of the most misunderstood trends of the current times often marketed as an out of body, magical experience that gives you glimpses of paradise et al. 

Taking all that  and more it still  deserves the benefit of doubt, afterall all it requires is some peace, breath control and observing your thoughts. It is what makes you experience the often quoted statement “ONE FOR ALL AND ALL FOR ONE” because no matter in how many different forms the internet may appear in the zillion of computers across the world in the end it is only a sum total of the binary’s “ZEROS & ONES”.

Destined 0r Not!

Life was running on fast mode. There was no time for old friends or for new friendships. I was a 8 to 8 machine, as if life was on auto pilot. There was no time to indulge in worthless talks hence there were no arguments. I liked everyone and everyone liked me. Money kept accumulating month after month and year on year.

At an age when people are still finding a purpose in life to me it seemed I have found one and already done with it. I have followed and lived what was a definition of a modern happy life and sadly become one only to find an emptiness a "fullstop".

Everything was just the same, the world kept moving on the way it did. The girl i saw every morning to work, the ticket officer at the station, the receptionist at the office, the sandwich-man at canteen, the news anchor at the 9 'O click news, everything & everyone seemed to be going about their days just the same. Than it sinked in slowly. Like sleep sinks in, on a lazy Saturday afternoon while watching television or reading a book. It was a dream within a dream.

It's either your life is in control of you, or you are in control of your life. But most of the times with most of us its the former. And we say a man got to do what a man got to do and go on creating realities. But than isn't reality a choice. If I didn't choose to write and you didn't choose to read this reality right now between us wouldn't be there. That brings out the question of destiny. Were we destined to choose what we chose.

Something tells me no. We write it on our own only to forget. 

©KSHITIJ GHAI

'Nanak Aakhya' (In Gurmukhi/Punjabi)

Writer's Note: Guru Nanak was the founder of the Sikh religion who preached about the unity of all religions and existence of one & all pervading GOD.

Tu Vi Nanak Ban Re Bandeya

Tu Vi Nanak Ban

Na Hindu Na Muslim Na Sikh Na Isaai

Tu Vi Nank Ban Re Bandeya

Tu Vi Nanak Ban

Na Darbar, Na Mandir, Na Girja, Na Masjid

Khudi De Andar Vadh Re Bandeya

Khudi De Andar Vadh

Gita, Puran, Bani, Quran

Inahanoon Samajh Na Ke Padh Re Bandeya

Samajh Na Ke Padh

Tu Vi Nanak Ban Re Bandeya

Tu Vii Nanak Ban

Translation in English:

Become God Realized my friend

Become God Realized

To be a good Hindu, Muslim, Sikh or Christian

First be God Realized my friend

First be God Realized

No need to wander in Gurdwaras, Temples, Mosques or Churches

First wander in thy Own Self my friend

First wander in thy Own Self

Gita,Bible, Gurbani & Quran

Not only read but understand them my friend

Not only read but understand

Become God Realized my friend

Become God Realized

Thank You !

i fall and fall and fall again

you pick me up every time the same

i sway and sway and sway away

you reach for me in every-way

i talk and talk and talk a lot

not realizing that i was lost

and than in silence you appear

making my worries disappear

from the depths of the heart i thank thee

for yesterdays, today and tomorrows to be

from this life to next, wherever i go

my gratitude for you will forever grow

2 w/\y communication!!

If prayers are my vocals its silence where I hear!
©Kshitij Ghai

the 'Y' of being!

"The only reason for existence is to evolve in consciousness life on life, birth after birth until we reach the consciousness of 'all for one and one for all', for in essence we are all one in truth and truth is one for us."
©Kshitij Ghai

wAr 'n' peAce

I woke up with this dream today that my cousin is flying a MIG & somehow I am his co-pilot. Suddenly there is an echo from the skies as we are suspended in space 'don't return even if you run out of your ammunition'. After that I see shooting stars every where only to realise those were not stars but we were being shot at. Just like that the realisation sinks in that we are on a war to save the world (ehim) and as we move ahead dodging the shooting stars (pun intended) we come to a point which is for some reason called the 'heat point' and looks like a disk of fire. My cousin than takes the MIG vertically up, looks me in the eye & than he bring it down smashing through the the 'heat point'. As it all happens, just before the impact with the 'heat point' we eject ourselves from the MIG. Next thing we realise is that we are on some hills which we think is enemy territory. So we climb our way up carefully, hiding from getting spotted so we can get a better view from the top and analyse the situation. As we reach the top we find ourselves looking at a village which mysteriously seems peaceful & calm with life going around as usual. While we are still observing suddenly an old couple appears with a divine smile and silently walks by us. Just after a few blocks they stop, look back at us with the same divine smile & tell us 'not to worry, its the year 2756'!!!

©Kshitij Ghai

My Prayer

"O the divine light of the universe and creation,
Guide me to thyself & let me be an instrument of thy will"

©Kshitij Ghai

Countless

Countless are the colors of Light,

Which we refuse to see.
©Kshitij Ghai

An Ode to God

I bow to you with my heart 'n' soul

In thy kingdom from my humble post

The creator, sustainer of the universe whole

O Father, Son and the Holy Ghost!

Have found you everywhere I've gone

Maybe Jehovah, Buddha or Ram

With your love as the shining star

You have guided us this far

Thy command has been of unconditional love

Humbly showered from here and above

Have surrendered my 'I' for devotion of 'Thee'

But from heavens I hear only 'Me Me Me'

Of all things you have revealed so far

Your love, forgiveness and unmatched power

Have answers given of all but one

All this drama is it just for fun!

©Kshitij Ghai

life in a nutshell

the craft has arrived
words have found ink
pictures are being set in motion
knowledge is spreading its wings

©Kshitij Ghai

Random Chittering

With so much noise in the head, the mind has been on a trip. Jumping around and making me freak. Sometimes I wonder if it belongs to me because I can see it as a completely independent identity from myself. Now now that brings another important question. Who am I?

Some of my friends who happen to know me would be saying “here he goes again”.

But I say why shouldn’t I. Why shouldn’t we ask questions for which the world doesn’t have answers. Some may say its a waste of time but what time precisely means. Is it merely a planetary rotation around the sun. Does it mean the way time works on Mars is different from the way it works here or does it mean time didn’t exist before the big bang.

Well these are just a few things that have been intriguing me but the more important thing as of now has been to watch the games the mind plays. From sudden rushes of loneliness followed by an  uplifting enigma. Are we really in control of our emotions or is the mind being seduced by our external environment, converting the neurotic signals into emotional outbursts. 

It may just make no sense or it may just make a lot. I don’t have all the answers now but I'll let you know when I've got.

©Kshitij Ghai

ज़िन्दगी

ज़िन्दगी

ज़िन्दगी एक जंग है

यहाँ सरहद के इस पार मैं हूँ 

और सरहद के उस पार मेरा ही अक्स 

आन्सोनूं की गोलियां रूकती ही नहीं

हर पल यहाँ दम टूट रहे हैं 

मिट रहें हैं सपने जज़्बात और एहसास

गिरती लाशों से मेरे सवाल

शायद खुदा का दरवाजा ख़त खता रहें हैं

क्या सही हैं क्या गलत है शायद उस से पूछ रहे हैं

वक़्त के बारूद ने यह जो धुआं किया है

अब तो खुद को ही ढूँढना मुश्किल हुआ है

Interpretation in English:-

LIFE 

Life is but an endless tussle

Of varying pits & uncanny hurdles

Standing here in the Eternal Now

Discerning pasts and their many Hows

Tear drops run incessant

Each moment becomes a heartbreak

Shattered dreams and broken feelings

Life isn’t fair in its dealings

Questions like falling soldiers

Knocking on heaven’s door

Waiting for Almighty’s signal

Swinging between right & wrong

In the mist of time the musk runs-around

The scent he seeks is his own abound

To dive within is to end that tussle

You yourself are your own hurdle

©KSHITIJ GHAI

dire times...

dire times....

dire times are here...
cant look around nowhere...
maybe need to look inside
things need an insight

how did it happen....
can light even darken
when did it come this oblivion...
am looking around for an opinion

dire times are here...
cant look around nowhere...

wHAt dA hEll

hearts aching...viens pumping...there has to be an outburst sooner or later...i am thinkin abt disaster manangement...i could feel the dents...to be or not to be that is the question...putting my foot in the mouth...sometimes people can be a virus...careful u devilz out there...angels arent wht they appear...

they are nice for it is a need...
hate the coldness in their warmth...
need nay a sin..
but to feed it on insecurity...

stealing thee of what you like...
for what they are incapable is crap...
life is always a choice...
i know now for sure which one to make...

Just Thoughts

Moments become a lifetime and years become a blink. Time has its own irony but then is it really time that is passing by or is it just us who keep moving on, from life to death and to life again. Probably "time" is just standing there watching us. Like when we cross a train and feel that its the other that is moving. 

We live we die and then what? Our successes our failures our deeds how do they matter? Whole our lives we keep struggling right from being a kid, an adolescent, an adult, an aged and these days even as dead. Where does all the sweat go? 

Are there other worlds there or is it only us rationalising things? It’s good that we exist but have we reasoned it ever. Are we totally lost? All our lives we keep running after things may be in whatever form. Money, ambition, love, power and we do achieve them albeit just for a glance compared to the years spent in achieving them. And then just like that one day it’s all over. Do we need to reason our existence?
©Kshitij Ghai

Lost & Found

I went out for a search
And realised I was lost

Trying to find clarity

Unaware of my jumbling thoughts

Now I see a flickering light
A bit too far & not so bright

So I sit down and analyse my perspective

Wisdom is in response and not being reactive

The search begins with me
And ends within me

Question remains

To be or not to be

It is in becoming the answer lies

Chrysalis of the caterpillar holds the butterfly

Even as it crawls its wings are forming sheen
Metamorphosis happens quietly not to be seen

©Kshitij Ghai

The Letter

Below you shall find one of my initial efforts of writing something concrete.Its inspired from a real life incident told to me by my grandfather, although most of it is still a work of fiction.

"Paripona" the dakiya said as he greeted Biji. She handed her a “paisa" which had become so customary whenever he had got her a letter. But dakiya chacha wasn’t so pleased today, he wore a dissatisfied look as he put the paisa in his pocket and peddled away for the other deliveries. At earlier occasions he had received hugs and blessings along with the customary 'paisa', but this time Biji seem to have been pre occupied with her thoughts and had hardly noticed him. It was quite understandable as the special day was nearing. The day she had been waiting for so long.

"Inder" she called me. As I approached her I knew why I have been summoned. It was a routine I have been following for the last three years now. During these years I became so fond of Biji that I would never start my day without receiving her blessings. She handed me The Letter. I opened it with the same enthusiasm as I have always done almost tearing it while opening. I had hardly known than that it was the last time I will be reading a letter to her.

There is a thing about small towns. Petty events can become celebrations. Especially in those days, before the partition when family affairs would become community affairs. So it had been in our town, the whole town was rejoicing for the homecoming of our beloved Shyam. "Sha Ji" as we often called him had been the hero of our small town. The whole town had been preparing for his arrival. There were shamiana's being laid out, water being sprinkled on the mud streets and stage being set. "Sha Ji” & his accomplishments were the talk of the town. The men folk at the choupal had their own respective views about how Shyam had made it big. The sarpanch thought it was sheer luck while others felt that it was the boy’s hard work and determination. And we the kids kept arguing about  who amongst us was his favourite.

In town like our’s with a small population, small achievements could get you a lot of merit and recognition. And what Shyam had achieved was no small feat. What he had done not only got him lot of recognition but even brought our small town to the notice of the entire country.

Shyam was the only kid in the town to have gone for higher education to the university and stood first in the entire state. Life gives you a chance that completely changes life from there on. This chance for Shyam came when he was awarded a scholarship at Oxford for a doctorate in physics. Albeit it wasn't the easiest of decision for Shyam to take. Going to Oxford meant leaving his widowed mother alone for another couple of years. Shyam had thought of dropping his scholarship but it was only due to strong persuasion of her mother that he eventually went on with it.

Biji was the mother of Shyam and I being their fortunate neighbour. I had a special connection with Shyam bhaiya. He was not only my hero but also my ideal. I so remember the days when I would go to his terrace to get my arithmetic problems solved and he would go on to explain me the wonders of physics. Though I had very little interaction with Biji earlier but since Sha Ji left my interaction with Biji had gradually increased. It was then I realised that from where Shyam got all his inspiration. Biji herself was not educated but she was a truly gifted person and realised the importance of education and knowledge in one's life. She didn't leave any stone unturned to make sure his son gets the best of education.

Today when she called me I knew that it would probably be the last time that she was calling me with that eagerness and excitement. I knew that the dakiya chacha had just given her a letter from "Sha Ji" and most probably for the last time since her son was returning home to her arms in a matter of days. I opened the letter with the same enthusiasm as I have always done almost tearing it while opening. As I opened it I could immediately notice that it wasn't Sha Ji's handwriting and as rolled my eyes down I saw that it was signed off by the Principal of Oxford. And then I read the letter to her.

Respected Shakuntla Devi,
With utmost difficulty and sadness I would like to bring to your notice the sad demise of your son Shyam Ahuja. Shyam along with his four friends had met with an unfortunate car accident in which they lost their lives. Shyam was one of the finest students at the Oxford University and will always remain alive in our hearts. The board of trustees have decided to announce a Shyam Ahuja Scholarship in Physics in remembrance of the bright student Shyam was and is also sending you a Cheque of RS 10000.00 for his immense contribution to the field of Physics that he researched through his Doctorate at the university. I along with the entire university pray that may God give you the strength to bear such an immense loss and bless Shyam's soul.

Biji passed away even a month before since we got the news.
©Kshitij Ghai

Hard Times

We think we know it all

We think we are in control

But then comes reality naked on our face

What a waste have been all these days

All our thoughts, plans & efforts swept away

Emotions grumbling, no words to say

A life to live, a freedom to fly

A lost dream in the sky

Questions too many answers too less 

Zillion possibilities in doubt’s nest

What choice to make & which to reject

Not a thing to do but no time for rest

Hard times have hit  

There is  not a glimmer of light

But something within sticks on to the fight
Holding on each breath keeping hope alive

©Kshitij Ghai

Quater Life Crisis

At just days away from having burnt 24 years of my life I still feel absolutely cold. In simpler words I still am perplexed about what to make of my life. Born in an upper middle class business family, (Sons are assets in most business families) I am supposed to carry on my family heritage with pride and honor. For the very purpose a lot was invested upon me on my education. I was trained in Fashion Designing and Information Technology, to back up my family business which is into textile manufacturing for the last five decades. If there is something like perfect planning this would be it. Alas it wasn’t. In the whole episode one thing was left and that was me. It was proudly said that my education was an investment for the business. So that was it, my education an investment and me an asset. But then I guess one thing was forgotten that investments can backfire and assets may become non performing ones. If only I had been treated as a human with aspirations, dreams and a life of my own.

But then hope is what keeps us going, isn’t it?

Albeit, I am confused, struggling to keep pace with life, almost living on the edge, absolutely doubtful of the future, frustrated and lost. I guess it’s still better than living in ignorance. You tell me why do we live or exist. Is it just to eat and reproduce? Living like an animal. All I see around me is a rat race for money. Not that I am against materialism but is it all we got to run for.

Pretending to be happy, pretending to be settled, pretending as if its all good back at home, pretending to be having a great time, pretending to be enjoying everyone’s company, pretending to be somebody I actually don’t even know. Why?

Why do I have to be judged? Why do I have to pretend? Why do I have to be somebody I am not?

Freedom. Well it’s a very ironical word. I sometimes wonder why such an importance is given to freedom. History shows it that a lot many countries have had great freedom struggles. But what happens when it comes down to a personnel level. What happens to our independence? Our freedom to choose a path in life, our freedom to follow our dreams, our freedom to live.

Probably I am saying all this coz things aren’t goin my way, probably coz I am too selfish a person, probably I am wrong , probably its just a phase and probably more probables.

To be continued…