gemzineyez

KHOJ

2011-11-16T11:42:00.004Z

Yeh Kya Khojta Hai Tu Bahar
Sadiyaan Beet Gayi, Phir Bhi Tu Ne Na Jaana.

Beete Pallon Ko Thaame
Aaj Phisal Rahaa Hai
Kal Ki Umeedon Main
Khud Ko Kho Raha Hai

Pukaar Dil Se Yeh Nikali Hai
Ki Fanaa Ho Jaye Hum
Par Zindagi Ka Yeh Jhamela
Sirf Pee Ke Hi Paar Hua Hai

Kyon Chahaton Ki Ladi Se Ghira,
Doston Main Uljhah, Rishton Main Bandha
Ehsaason Ke Bulbulon Main
Mila Hai Khushi Ka Manzar Kisse Bhala

Aye Baware Man Mere,
Zara Ruk, Zara Sun Meri Sadaa
Raqeeb Tu Apna Hi Ban
Woh Saqoon Jisse Tu Dhoondta Hai Jagah Jagah
Kahin Aur Nahin, Tere Andar Hi Bassa

Dhoondle Tu Usko, Paa Le Tu Usko
Aur Baant De Tu Usko
Yeh Woh Innayat Hai Jo
Sambhale Se Dhale, Banto To Badhe
Kho Kar Tu Ismain,
Mukamal Jahan Pale Tu Zara

Yeh Kya Khojta Hai Tu Bahar
Sadiyaan Beet Gayi, Phir Bhi Tu Ne Na Jaana

TABAH (Hindi/Urdu)

2011-11-12T11:51:00.003Z

Ek Aag Si Hai Seene Main
Zindagi Jis Main Jal Rahi Hai
Khud Ko Hi Tabah Kar Chaloon Main
Ek Ajab Si Khalish Hui Hai

Kaun Hoon Main Aur Kya Mera Wajood
Mitne Se Kya Kabhi Zindagi Ruki Hai
Khud Ko Tabah Kar Chaloon Main
Aaj Phir Yeh Khwahish Hui Hai

Jazbaat Yeh Jo Dafan Hue Hain
Tune Kaisi Yeh Zid Rakhi Hai
Khud Ko Tabah Kar Chaloon Main
Dil Pe Dastak Yeh Hasrat Hui Hai

Haqeeqat Aur Khwab Main Ulajhti Zindagi
Do Saahilon Pe Chal Rahi Hai
Khud Ko Tabah Kar Chaloon Main
Phir Umeedon Main Chingari Hui Hai

Ek Aag Si Hai Seene Main
Zindagi Jis Main Jal Rahi Hai
Khud Ko Hi Tabah Kar Chaloon Main
Ek Ajab Si Khalish Hui Hai

Bruised Child

2011-10-21T12:44:00.004+01:00

Unaware I am as the mind creeps in,
The Shouts of the heart are dumbed.
Cornered aloof in that suffocating darkness,
It breathes the numbness of thy longing again.

'Beloved' 'Beloved' the heart resonates,
Clinging to the flickering light of hope.
Please come to me - late nay not be,
Awaits for you is your bruised child.

Quotes

2011-08-02T06:51:00.002+01:00

'is there butter in the milk..nay not say no..churn and see as out of nothing it shows...is there god in man nay not say no...churn thy mind and let thy self be explored'

'the mind the weaver, the life that is weaved, the thoughts the woven and destiny perceived'

NAYA DOR (In Hindi)

2011-04-13T07:20:00.001+01:00

CHAR PAHIYE KI GADHI MAIN CHALI HAI HAISIYAT
AHNKAR BANA HAI PEHCHAAN HUMARI
ZAMEEN KE CHAN TUKDE BANE HAIN PARMAAN PATR
MAIN HI MAIN HO HAI KHWAHISH HUMARI

RISHTON NE NAYA ROOP LIYA HAI
BOOJHO TO LAGE DEKH RAHA HOON KHATE
MAIN TUJHSE AAGE TU MUJHSE PECCHE KI AJAB DODH LAGI HAI
JAANA KAHAN HAI YE KOI NA JAANE

NASAMJH HI MAIN ACHA THA
SAPNON KI DUNIYA BUNTA THA
HUMDARDI PYAAR BHAICHAARA DULAAR
IN MAIN KHELA KARTA THA

AB INSANON KE KARKHANNON MAIN
JO BINA DHADKAN HI CHAL RAHE HAIN
PARINDON KE PANKH BANDH GAYE HAIN
IS KHUDI MAIN KHUDA KO BHOOL GAYE HAIN

'me' to 'i'

2011-02-17T08:10:00.005Z

umpteenth layers over the onion
umpteenth waves of the sea
the nothingness that's covered in the layers
the ocean that forms the sea

the nothing that brings out the all
and all that is lost in the nothing
the ocean may call itself the wave
but the wave, how can the ocean it be

to be it has to loose itself
and become one with eternity
the journey of 'I am God'
begins with 'God is me'

RollerCoaster

2010-12-22T15:38:00.003Z

Up and down the roller coaster
The world sways and sways
How many cycles of kth 'n' kin
Oblivion of the count of days

Awake! Awake! the cosmos resonates
The day is precious than the dream.
Why long for candies my friend
When sugar lies right on thy plate.

I art thou and thou art me
And together we are the world.
But standing aloof beyond and above
This 'I' defies to be.

Love @ 1st Click!

2010-07-28T11:24:00.000+01:00

We clicked on a click.
And acquainted love as time ticked.
Only words exchanged but hearts have met.
Prior to our meeting it was all set.

Were made to wait to meet again.
We swayed in search while time played its game.
Before we knew "WE" belonged to "US"
Just that Destiny unfolded Thus.

Together we are again for evermore.
Playing in HIS play new roles.
For life has what but a purpose to serve.
To make us experience an emotion called LOVE.

My computer - my mind!

2009-12-05T11:02:00.005Z

In today’s modern world one spends more time with the computer than the accumulated time spent with the family, friends and in the loo (pun intended), and kindly excuse the genuinity (if that is a word) of the above statistic for i didn’t care to read through any of those published research papers written by some xyz professor/doctor (no offense please) from those ivy league institutes. Why? Because I just wanted to get the meaning through and more importantly in the end all of us know what the truth is but are too scared to accept it unless its BRANDED.

Well coming back to the subject, I will like to share something interesting that sneaked into my understanding on one frustrating afternoon when the hard disk of my computer crashed. Taking my laptop to the service center I was wondering at how the computer memory worked. There was a hard disk which stored all the data of the computer and than there was the Random Access Memory that used only the bit of the computer data that was required to complete the task in hand.

Well you may ask what am I talking about, even a 5th grader would know that. But just hang on there, interesting observations ahead.

I am sure we have all heard about the conscious and sub-conscious mind. But what is it exactly. If you are lucky with accidental observance (like i was) you will discover that the conscious mind is actually our RAM and the sub-conscious our hard disk. Like at this moment as I am writing and later when you will be reading we are and will be using our conscious mind, but at the same time we have our sub-conscious minds which is a huge hard disk of memories old and new. Having said that, there is another set of equivalents we haven’t yet touched.

The Internet that connects us to the vast pool of data through a network of computers, servers all joined together linking us to infinite data of the world wide web and the Super-Conscious Mind connecting us to the whole universe, opening us to the world of information, knowledge and possibilities.

Albeit it can be argued that where connecting to the internet is as easy as a push of a button, MEDITATION - the way to connect to the super-conscious mind, is one of the most misunderstood trends of the current times often marketed as an out of body, magical experience that gives you glimpses of paradise et al.

Taking all that and more it still deserves the benefit of doubt, afterall all it requires is some peace, breath control and observing your thoughts. It is what makes you experience the often quoted statement “ONE FOR ALL AND ALL FOR ONE” because no matter in how many different forms the internet may appear in the zillion of computers across the world in the end it is only a sum total of the binary’s “ZEROS & ONES”.

Destined 0r Not!

2009-09-22T10:53:00.004+01:00

Life was running on fast mode. There was no time for old friends or for new friendships. I was a 8 to 8 machine, as if life was on auto pilot. There was no time to indulge in worthless talks hence there were no arguments. I liked everyone and everyone liked me. Money kept accumulating month after month and year on year. I had enough to live the rest of my life on luxury without being bothered to go to work ever again.

At 26 when people are still finding a purpose in life to me it seemed I have found one and already done with it. I have followed and lived what was a definition of a modern happy life and sadly become one only to find an emptiness a "fullstop".

Everything was just the same, the world kept moving on the way it did. The girl i saw every morning to work, the ticket officer at the station, the receptionist at the office, the sandwich-man at canteen, the news anchor at the 9 'O click news, everything & everyone seemed to be going about their days just the same. Than it sinked in slowly. Like sleep sinks in, on a lazy Saturday afternoon while watching television or reading a book. It was a dream within a dream.

It's either your life is in control of you, or you are in control of your life. But most of the times with most of us its the former. And we say a man got to do what a man got to do and go on creating realities. But than isn't reality a choice. If I didn't choose to write and you didn't choose to read this reality right now between us wouldn't be there. That brings out the question of destiny. Were we destined to choose what we chose. Something tells me no.

'Nanak Aakhya' (In Gurmukhi/Punjabi)

2009-05-10T15:24:00.005+01:00

Writer's Note: Guru Nanak was the founder of the Sikh religion who preached about the unity of all religions and existence of one & all pervading GOD.

Tu Vi Nanak Ban Re Bandeya

Tu Vi Nanak Ban

Na Hindu Na Muslim Na Sikh Na Isaai

Tu Vi Nank Ban Re Bandeya

Tu Vi Nanak Ban

Na Darbar, Na Mandir, Na Girja, Na Masjid

Khudi De Andar Vadh Re Bandeya

Khudi De Andar Vadh

Gita, Puran, Bani, Quran

Inahanoon Samajh Na Ke Padh Re Bandeya

Samajh Na Ke Padh

Tu Vi Nanak Ban Re Bandeya

Tu Vii Nanak Ban

Translation in English:

Become God Realized my friend

Become God Realized

To be a good Hindu, Muslim, Sikh or Christian

First be God Realized my friend

First be God Realized

No need to wander in Gurdwaras, Temples, Mosques or Churches

First wander in thy Own Self my friend

First wander in thy Own Self

Gita,Bible, Gurbani & Quran

Not only read but understand them my friend

Not only read but understand

Become God Realized my friend

Become God Realized

Thank You !

2009-04-28T19:42:00.006+01:00

i fall and fall and fall again

you pick me up every time the same

i sway and sway and sway away

you reach for me in every-way

i talk and talk and talk a lot

not realizing that i was lost

and than in silence you appear

making my worries disappear

from the depths of the heart i thank thee

for yesterdays, today and tomorrows to be

from this life to next, wherever i go

my gratitude for you will forever grow

2 w/\y communication!!

2009-04-22T11:40:00.004+01:00

If prayers are my vocals its silence where I hear!

the 'Y' of being!

2009-04-04T06:22:00.004+01:00

"The only reason for existence is to evolve in consciousness life on life, birth after birth until we reach the consciousness of 'all for one and one for all', for in essence we are all one in truth and truth is one for us."

wAr 'n' peAce

2009-03-27T09:49:00.003Z

writer's note: *ing - vicky bhaiya n me; location - dream world...

i woke up with this dream today that u r flying a MIG (probable) n somehow I am ur co-pilot(not evn in dreams but than) n sitting behind u...n there is sort of a 'bhavishvani'(a voice from eternity) as we r suspended in nowhere 'dont return even if u run out of ur ammunition'(wicked)..than i see shooting stars every where (guessing those were bullets)..n than a realization sinks in that we are on a war to save the world (ehim)..as we move ahead dodging the 'shootin stars' we come to a point which is called the 'heat point'(dont know why :p) and looks like a disk of fire below.. u take the MIG vertically up..we share a look n than u bring it down smashing through the the 'heat point'...it all happens in a moment but somehow in tht tiny moment we are able to eject ourselves from the MIG...(and now here comes the climax)next thing we realize is that we are on some hills which we think is enemy territory...but as we climb our way up we find there a kind of village which mysteriously seems peaceful..while we r still observing (n me trying not to wake up) an old couple passes by us than stops, looks bck n tells us 'not to worry, you are in 1856'!!!

My Prayer

2009-03-24T15:25:00.002Z

"O the divine light of the universe and creation,
Guide me to thyself & let me be an instrument of thy will."

Countless

2009-03-11T13:36:00.000Z

"Countless are the colors of Light,

Which we refuse to see."

kshitij ghai

An Ode to God

2008-10-26T09:15:00.004Z

I bow to you with my heart 'n' soul.

In thy kingdom from humble post.

The creator, sustainer of the universe whole.

O Father,Son and the Holy Ghost!

Have found you everywhere I've gone.

Maybe Jehovah, Buddha or Ram.

With your love as the shining star.

You have guided us this far.

Thy command has been of unconditional love.

Humbly showered from here and *above.

Have surrendered the 'I' for devotion of thee.

But from heavens I hear only 'Me Me Me'.

Of all things you have revealed so far.

Your love, forgiveness and unmatched power.

Have answers given of all but one.

This world's a stage, if just for your fun!

Kshi(tij) Ghai

life in a nutshell

2008-03-01T11:46:00.001Z

the craft is waiting
words are searching ink
pictures need to be set in motion
knowledge wants to spread its wings

;)

random chittering

2008-02-14T22:01:00.001Z

thts wht is happenining these days....the mind has been on a trip...jumpin around and makin me freak...sometimes i wonder if it belongs to me coz i can see it as a completely independent identity from myself...now tht brings another important question...who am i....

some of my friends who happen to knw my interests and hobbies would say.........
'omg...here he goes again...'

but i say why shouldnt i...why shouldnt we ask questions for which the world doesnt have answers....some may say its a waste of time...but what time precisely means....is it merely a planetary rotation round the sun...does it mean the way time wrks in mars is different from the way it works here...or does it mean time didnt exist before the big bang....

well these are just a few things that hv been intriguing me....but the more imp thing as of now has been the games the mind plays...sudden rushes of loneliness followed by an uplifting enigma....do we really control our lives or is the mind thats is seduced by our surrounding enviornment that converts the neurotic signals into emotional outbursts...

it may jst make no sense or it may jst make a lot....
i dont have answers now but i'll let you know when i've got..
these questions will never end...but they might jst change their trends.....
i dont know wht i write...or why does it even rhyme....
dont judge me on my tone...probably i jst wanna go back home....

Zindagi (In Hindi)

2008-01-20T20:06:00.000Z

Zindagi Ek Jung Hai
Yahaan Sarhad Ke Is Paar Main Hoon
Aur Sarhad Ke Us Paar Mera Hi Aks
Aansoonon Ki Goliyaan Rukti Hi Nahi
Har Pal Yahaan Dum toot Rahe Hain
Mit Rahe Hain Sapne Jazbaat Aur Ehsaas
Girti Laashon Se Mere Sawaal
Shayad Khuda Ka Darwaza Khatkata Rahe Hain
Kya Sahi Hai Kya Galat Hai Shayad Usse Pooch Rahe Hain

Waqt Ke Barood Ne Yah Jo Dhoon Kiya Hai
Ab To Khud Ko Hi Dhoondna Mushkil Hua Hai

Kshitij Ghai

dire times...

2007-05-10T04:07:00.001+01:00

dire times....

dire times are here...
cant look around nowhere...
maybe need to look inside
things need an insight

how did it happen....
can light even darken
when did it come this oblivion...
am looking around for an opinion

dire times are here...
cant look around nowhere...

tIj

wHAt dA hEll

2007-01-05T18:05:00.000Z

hearts aching...viens pumping...there has to be an outburst sooner or later...i am thinkin abt disaster manangement...i could feel the dents...to be or not to be that is the question...putting my foot in the mouth...sometimes people can be a virus...careful u devilz out there...angels arent wht they appear...

they are nice for its a need...
hate the coldness in the warmth...
need nay a sin..
but to feed it on insecurity...

stealing thy of wht ya like...
for wht they are incapable is crap..
life is always a choice...
i know now for sure which one to make..

kshitij

JustThOuGhTs

2006-10-07T15:04:00.000+01:00

Moments become a lifetime and years become a blink.Time has its own irony....but then Is it really timethat is passing by or is it just us who keep movingon....From life to death and to life again....Probably"time" is just standing there watching us....probablyits a mirage...like when we cross a train and feelthat its the other that is moving.Ever wondered why aren’t babies born smiling....aren’tthey happy coming to the world.....We live we die andthen .......what. Our success our failure our deeds howdo they matter. Whole our lives we keep struggling...as a kid, an adolescent, an adult, an aged....and thenits all over. Where does all the sweat go?Are there other worlds there or is it only usrationalizing things. It’s good that we exist. But havewe reasoned it ever. Are we totally lost? All our liveswe keep running after things may be in whateverform. Money, ambition, love, power and we do achieve thembut just for a glance compared to the years spent inachieving them. And then...it’s all over.Do we need to reason our existence?

KshitijGhai

Just Rhyming

2006-06-06T08:22:00.000+01:00

Lost 'n' Found

I went out for a search,
And realized I was lost.
Was trying to find clarity.
Though unaware of my jumbling thoughts.

Now I see a light.
When I analyze my perspective.
It seems to be far,
It may even be deceptive.

The search begins with me and ends within me.
The question is to be or not to be.
Its in being where peace lies.
Its in being for a purpose.

To dream and live that dream.
This world is a stage or rather a circus.
So let us all smile and have some laughter.
Coz' who cares what lies after.

Kshitij Ghai

The Letter

2006-05-31T19:43:00.001+01:00

Below you shall find one of my initial efforts of writing something concrete.Its inspired from a real life incident told to me by my grandfdather, although most of it is still a work of fiction.

THE LETTER

"Paripona" the dakiya said as he greeted BIJI. She handed her an "anna" which had become so customary whenever he had got her a letter.But dakiya chacha was'nt so plesed today, he wore a dissatisfied look as he put the anna in his pocket and peddled away for the other deliveries.At earlier ocassions he had recived hugs and blessings along with the customatry 'anna' but this time Biji seem to have been preocupied with her thoughts and have hardly noticed him.It was quite understandable as the special day was nearing.The day she had been waiting for so long.

"Inder" she called me.As I approached her I knew why I have been called.It was a routine I have benn foollowing for the last three years now.During these years I became so fond of Biji that I would never start my day without receiving her blessings.She handed me the letter.I opened it with the same enthusiasm as I have always done almost tearing it while opening.I had hardly known that it was the last time i will be reading a letter to her.

There is a thing about small towns.Petty events can become celebrations. Especially in those days, before the partion.Family affairs could become everyone's affair.So had been those days, the whole town was rejoicing for the homecoming of our beloved Shyam. sha ji as we often called him had been the hero of our small town. The whole town had been preparing for his arrival; there were shamiana's being laid out, water being sprinkled, satge being set. Everyone in the town seemed to have been discussing shaji.The men folk at the choupal had their own respective view about how Shyam had made it big.While the sarpanch though it was sheer luck others felt that it was the boys hard work and determination.And we the kids kept arguing about who amongst us was shaji's favoraite.

In town like ours, which had a small population, small achivements could get you a lot of merit and recognition.And what shaji has achived was an achivement on a national level.What he had done not only got Shajia lot of recognition but even our small town had got its peice of fame.Shaji was the only lkid in the town to have gone for higher education to the university.At the university he performed brilliantly and stood first in the entire state.

Life gives you a chance that completely changes one's life from there on.This chance for Shyam came when he was awarded a scholarship at Oxford for a doctrate in economics.Albeit it wasnt the easiest of decision for Shyam to take. Going to Oxford meant leaving his widowed mother alone for another couple of years. Shyam had thought of dropping his scholarship but it was only due to strong persuasion of her mother that he eventually went on with it.

Biji was the mother of Shyam and I being their fortunate neighbour.I had a special connection with Shaji.He was not only my hero but also my ideal.I so remember the day when I would go to his terracveto get my arthemetic problems solved and he would go o9n to explain me the wonders of economics.Though I had very little interaction with Biji earlier but since Shaji left my interaction with biji gradually increased. It was then I realised that from Shaji got his inspiration.Biji was herself not educated but she was atruly gifted person and realized the importance of education and knowledge in one's life.And she didnt leave any stone unturned to make sure his son gets the best of education.

Today when she had called me I knew that it was the last time that she was calling me with that eagerness and excitement.I knew that the dakiya chacha had just given her the letter from shaji and most probably his last letter because it was just a matter of a day or two that her son would be in her arms.I opened the letter with the same enthusiasm as I have always donealmost tearing it while opening. As I opened it I could see that it was'nt Shaji's handwriting, as I rolled down my eyes I saw that it was signed off by the Principal of Oxford. And then I read the letter.

Respected Shakuntla Devi,

With utmost diffculty and sadness iI would like to bring to your notice the sad demise of your son Syam Ahuja.shyam along with his four friends had met witth an unfortunate car accident in which they lost their lives.Shyam was one of teh finest students at the Oxford University and will always remain alive in our hearts.

i along with the entire university pray that may God give yo the strength to bear such an immense loss and bless Shyam's soul.

Yours Truly,
Dr. T W Phillips
Principal
Oxford University

Biji passed away even a month before since we got the news. I have been in a state of eternal shock ever since.

Hard Times

2006-05-30T16:12:00.000+01:00

Hard Times

We think we know it all
We think we are in control.
But then comes reality naked on our face
What a waste have been all these days.
All our thoughts, plans, efforts swept away
Emotions grumbling, no words to say.
A life to live, a freedom to fly
A lost dream in the eye.
Twinkle of an eye or just a pleasant smile
Not for lifetime maybe just for a while.
There are questions too many and answers too less
Eyeing my fate, its gonna get my best

Quater Life Crisis

2006-04-13T08:27:00.000+01:00

At just days away from having burnt 24 years of my life I still feel absolutely cold. In simpler words I still am perplexed about what to make of my life. Born in an upper middle class business family, (Sons are assets in most business families) I am supposed to carry on my family heritage with pride and honor. For the very purpose a lot was invested upon me on my education. I was trained in Fashion Designing and Information Technology, to back up my family business which is into textile manufacturing for the last five decades. If there is something like perfect planning this would be it. Alas it wasn’t. In the whole episode one thing was left and that was me. It was proudly said that my education was an investment for the business. So that was it, my education an investment and me an asset. But then I guess one thing was forgotten that investments can backfire and assets may become non performing ones. If only I had been treated as a human with aspirations, dreams and a life of my own.

But then hope is what keeps us going, isn’t it?

Albeit, I am confused, struggling to keep pace with life, almost living on the edge, absolutely doubtful of the future, frustrated and lost. I guess it’s still better than living in ignorance. You tell me why do we live or exist. Is it just to eat and reproduce? Living like an animal. All I see around me is a rat race for money. Not that I am against materialism but is it all we got to run for.

Pretending to be happy, pretending to be settled, pretending as if its all good back at home, pretending to be having a great time, pretending to be enjoying everyone’s company, pretending to be somebody I actually don’t even know. Why?

Why do I have to be judged? Why do I have to pretend? Why do I have to be somebody I am not?

Freedom. Well it’s a very ironical word. I sometimes wonder why such an importance is given to freedom. History shows it that a lot many countries have had great freedom struggles. But what happens when it comes down to a personnel level. What happens to our independence? Our freedom to choose a path in life, our freedom to follow our dreams, our freedom to live.

Probably I am saying all this coz things aren’t goin my way, probably coz I am too selfish a person, probably I am wrong , probably its just a phase and probably more probables.

To be continued…